


Never

by JediKnightNykara (IsharaYar)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, NSFW, Post Spire Mission, Romance, Smut, Some Plot, kotfe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-26
Updated: 2017-01-26
Packaged: 2018-09-20 01:59:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9470396
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IsharaYar/pseuds/JediKnightNykara
Summary: 5 years of grief aren't so easily wiped away. Perhaps in time everything may begin to feel normal again.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all!  
> This is just a little ficlet for my female trooper Tashian Nizri and Aric that was swimming around in my head. I finally decided to jot it down :)  
> I hope you enjoy!
> 
> Feedback is a always very welcome :) ( sometimes it even helps us writers to feel like maybe we can write! )

The last she had seen of Aric, he had still been standing by the coffins that had been unloaded into the hangar bay. There would be a service the following day, to say goodbye to those who had been lost and, something she hoped that would be worthy of their service to the alliance… and to Aric as their Commanding Officer. Her heart ached just thinking about the grief stricken look that had been on his face, the last look she had seen there before Lana and Theron whisked her away. There wasn’t really a choice in that at the time. Debriefings needed to be finalized, mission reports filed and alliance decisions to make, the kinds of decisions that could only move forward once she signed off on them. There was always something and she was tired, exhausted really, by having to deal with it all. The one thought that had kept intruding on her work all afternoon was Aric and how he was doing.

The mission had been rough, nothing about it had gone according to plan. Right from the beginning when she wasn’t able to reach the rendezvous point in time and from everything she read, it had only gone downhill from there. If anyone was to blame it wasn’t Aric, or Kaliyo, or even herself. Fucking Valkorian and his games. She hoped he was right and that he was out of her head with any luck for good, she was tired of sharing.

As she, finally, made her way back to her quarters she hoped he would already be there. She felt guilty enough as it was for not having found time to see him throughout the afternoon, to see how he was holding up. To offer some words of comfort, anything.

As the doors opened on her arrival, they revealed Aric sitting on her bed, holding a datapad in one hand. He had already changed out of his armor and was wearing only a loose pair of sleep pants. That she knew was a good sign, it meant he was done with work for the day. Finally they would have some time alone, something else that had been sorely lacking since their reunion on Zakuul. If he needed to talk, or just needed to be held it didn’t matter. What did matter was that for the rest of the evening and night she would be there for him, however he needed her. 

It was impossible to keep out the random, intrusive questions when they flashed through her mind. Which they did, all too often. How many times in the past five years had she not been there when he needed her? Although there had been the nightmares, sleeping through those years seemed like a blessing compared to what he would have been through, what he had to deal with. Yet somehow he had gotten through being forced to live during it all.

Quietly she slipped into the room and made her way over to her closet. She didn’t need to ask him what had happened. She already knew the answer. In his own way, consciously or not he had been punishing her for vanishing on him again. For leaving him alone when he had needed her. The effects of five years apart were still far too keenly felt by both of them.

Piece by piece she unclasped her armor, storing the segments in her closet as she always did at the end of each day. By the time she finished with the top half, she could feel his eyes on her. Turning her head just far enough she was able to make eye contact. The way her heart rate instantly increased still took her by surprise. They had long since been past that stage of their relationship and well into comfortably married before she had been frozen. Then when she first saw him in the Zakuul swamps, it had all come back again. It was like falling in love all over again for a second time only, this time with her best friend and lover. Someone who she knew intimately, inch by inch and yet had to relearn at the same time.

The big blue eyes looking back at her were difficult to read. With Aric that wasn’t unusual, he kept himself well guarded and sometimes once they were alone it took time for that guard to fall away. She didn’t need him to show her, she already knew he would be blaming himself for those deaths. Tashian offered him a small, sympathetic smile before going back to what she was doing.

She removed the lower armor segments, placing them with the top of her armor and started on the full bodysuit she wore underneath. It served as extra protection, especially from harsher environments.

There had been no sounds in the room other than the rustling of her clothing and yet, somehow, as she lowered the top half of her bodysuit until it was sitting loose at her waist, his warm hands covered the bare skin of her hips.

He pulled her back against him, hands slipping easily to the softer, more sensitive parts of her stomach. The twitching of her muscles underneath his fingertips was an instant response to his touches and the fact that he knew exactly where to seek the best reactions. Her head tilted to one side as his lips found the soft skin on the side of the neck, kissing, nibbling and sucking their way to her earlobe. Her breath caught with a soft gasp as she leaned back into him, giving into the sensations he was so easily evoking. Her skin felt as if it was aflame under the tips of his fingers and the press of his lips.

She raised her arms, reaching back to hook her hands around his neck as her knees weakened. She knew what he was doing as his hands slipped lower, finding their way under the fabric at her waist. It wasn’t uncommon for either of them to seek out the other for comfort after a particularly bad mission and if finding that comfort in her was what her husband needed, she would more than gladly oblige him. Especially if he kept touching her like  _ that.  _

He took the lower part of her earlobe between his teeth as his hand pushed their way under the fabric of her panties, one finger slipping between her damp folds.

“Aric,” she moaned as her body arched in response. She could feel his quickened, heated breaths against her ear as his fingers pressed against her slit. He slid them all the way from her entrance to the small, sensitive nub, agonisingly slowly at first and then faster as her hips started to roll in response. Her lower stomach muscles began tightening rapidly as his fingers worked their way along her folds, touching all of the places that made her whimper and moan. Her heart was racing so fast that it almost felt like one, extra long beat.  _ Fuck.  _ She couldn’t breathe. HIs fingers felt so, so good between her legs and she was so very close to the release that she was chasing.

He slipped one finger inside her and then another, curling them around until they hit the bundle of nerves that always made her shudder. Her knees buckled and his free arm instantly tightened around her body to hold her upright. She felt so so tight she thought she was going to burst. As his finger slipped out of her hole and trailed back up along the length of her slit, she shattered. “Fuck Aric!” she moaned as waves of pleasure shuddered through her body until her toes curled.

He held her close and upright and it wasn’t until the waves of pleasure started subsiding, with his fingers still moving hard and fast along her sensitive slit that she realised just how  _ hard  _ his erection was, pressed against her backside. She rolled her hips, rubbing the crack of her ass along his shaft to help create extra friction with the fabric of the clothing still between them. He stiffened and grunted, warm seed seeping through to  her bottom as he held her back tightly against his bare chest.   
  
Slowly he slipped his hand out from under her clothes, resting both against her stomach as they both fought to regain their breaths. She could feel his rapid heart beat against her back and slowly she lowered her arms to his, weaving their fingers together. As their breathing started to normalize, she felt his sigh against her neck.

Carefully she turned herself around his in his arms to face him. The unreadable expression from earlier was replaced with something far more raw and filled with emotion as their eyes met.

“When you didn’t make it to the rendezvous point-,” he started, his voice cracking.

Tash reached up and covered both of his warm cheeks with her hands, coaxing him to lower his head until their foreheads were touching. “It’s okay. I know,” she said softly. She couldn’t help but wonder if they would ever go back to normal after what happened, or if that fear would always be there.

“No,” he said firmly. “It’s not okay and you don’t know all of it. When I saw you on the holo I felt relieved as expected but, also angry. I took that out on the mission. Part of me wanted to-,” he paused as  his voice cracked again. Shame crept into his eyes, unlike anything she had seen there before. “I think part of me wanted to punish you by not following your orders. To make you hurt like I had been hurting but, you need to know I don’t blame you for any of what happened. None of it. Not the last five years or the last week. It wasn’t your fault and my anger is at the situation we keep finding ourselves in. Is it ever going to get any easier?” he asked, almost in desperation.

She could feel the tears building behind the backs of her eyelids, stinging and blinked them away. She didn’t cry, she wouldn’t. He needed her to be strong. The alliance needed her to be strong. They all did.

“I wish I had the answers, I really do. Just know that whatever happens I will always, always fight like hell to find a way back to you. I love you Aric Jorgan, I always have.”

He lifted a hand to her face, his thumb caressing one cheek, that softness in his eyes that so few ever really got to see. “I love you too. We will find a way to get past all of this in time and if anyone ever tries to take you away for that long again, I will personally hunt them down.”

He closed the gap between them and she parted her lips, instantly giving into his long, lingering kiss. Carefully he lifted her up, coaxing her legs to wrap around his waist and carried her over to the bed. They reminded each other, all over again that they were both still alive, and in each other’s arms. They savoured every moment, neither giving promises that they may never be able to keep until exhaustion and sleep took them.


End file.
